It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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