We named our party play list daddy issues
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He passed out mid-signature
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
