He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
