I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
