Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
