And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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