the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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