apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize