Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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