I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
