Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
