I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
