If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
