i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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