I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
