I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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