I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
