I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
