My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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