I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
