I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just gargled with NyQuil
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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