Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
