wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize