honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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