I puked a lego.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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