Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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