I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
