is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize