I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
only if we run a train.
done.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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