1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
