Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
