My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
