Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
