i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
