I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have post one night stand depression
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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