Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
