she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
