I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
