this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
