My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize