Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
