I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
