Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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