just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
