YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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