But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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