if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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