ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
