remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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