so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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