i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
