Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize