Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
