Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
